Staying comfortable might save us from temporary inconveniences but it can’t offer exponential rewards
Me and my husband have a ritual almost every weekend : we start from our house early morning, walk almost 12 KM to reach VR Mall and catch a morning show at INOX. Later we’d have mutton/chicken & butter naan for lunch at Masala Canteen and then finally take an auto back home.
One weekend (rainy season) : Since it was raining we had two choices, either stay back home or go out wearing the raincoats. At first, your mind will tell you to choose the easy option because rain, sweat and raincoat will be just too much to bear. But then we thought, if we stay back what are we going to do anyways? Sleep more, watch TV and eat in our bed? And where’s the fun in that? So we went ahead with our regular plan and enjoyed crispy chicken lollipops in the rains. Walking 12KM wearing raincoats was worth it.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
If you stop fighting or withstanding the bad things in life, you stop living and start surviving
The next weekend : Since it was not raining this time, we just took an umbrella for backup and started the walk. As soon as we covered initial 1KM or so, a torrential downpour occurred and we took shelter for sometime. After waiting 15min, we again had two choices, either go back home or continue with the plan. We decided to go ahead but the wind gusted and our umbrella snapped. Again we had two choices, go home which is near or walk remaining 11KM while it’s still raining, temperature is chilling & big droplets are hitting our heads. After careful analysis, we again came to conclusion that the hard way is the only way. How on Earth can we benefit from staying comfortable at home when a little inconvenience can get us movie, lunch and also a chance to buy new clothes? As soon as we reached the mall, we bought fresh pair of pyjamas, T-shirts & flip-flops too; this shopping experience was gratifying.
Cheers, AK
Ryan Mountcastle To Miss 8-12 Weeks - MLB Trade Rumors
Choosing the uncomfortable option might seem daunting at first but it will also offer unprecedented experiences
Just like we had no control over rain, you have no control over bad things, they can happen any number of times
Because bad things always keep happening to you.
Since the rise of feminism, the dating market has shifted to the disadvantage of men and that is causing this incel phenomenon. Why do women not understand how lonely the majority of men are?
Lastly, don’t let the bad things discourage you from living your best life. (Sounds unrealistic, I know, but seriously think, do you have any other choice?)
And you always manage to withstand those bad things but as soon as you get out of one bad thing the next bad thing happens. Although you are a fighter, you are afraid how long can you keep fighting? You want to enjoy some good times too but you can’t catch a break.
Lessons learnt :
Atheists, there is a god up there in heaven and he loves you so much that he sent his son to die the worst death imaginable and then to turn into a zombie all to save you from sin. Why do you reject him?
